I'm Bill and I just want you to know that I'm up to their plot. I know they put something in my dogs food that made him not love me anymore and I cannot tolerate it any longer. Please neutralize those immoral alien beings, I hate them!
I only want to tell you and via you victims of abductions, that there is no need for anxiety.
These aliens, who are old foes of my species,are merely trying to locate me and crewmates. They are abducting mainly americans as my father crashed down there in the 40's of this century in your time calculation.
This is a personal vendetta between me and their commander in chief as i am responsible for the death of his daughter-she died in a battle more then 60 years ago.
The purpose of the abductions is to trace vendachian dna, which is randomly stored in our bodies during dna resequencing(wich was, in my case to achieve human dna and properties) in order to restore the old dna when rescued.
It is highly unlikely that you will get more reports on this, as if the system is not malfunctioning,every non-staff crewmember recieves memory blocking in order to make live up to the point of rescue easier amongs less developed species.
About the second type of alien I had to laugh a bit,and i have no idea whatsoever how they got here: They are, if the description is correct very similar if not identical especially in behaviour with a type of desert anymal living on my homeworld.
Maybe these have been brought here by the other aliens, as every vendachian child learns how to defend himself against such an animal.
My advice to everybody who encounters one of these is,to be quick to locate a slit shortly underneath the lowest eye and sharply pull it apart toward the top with the left and towards the bottom with the right(left handed people vice versa).This will rupture its neural pathways.
Cut in slices and stored in an non poisonous alkaline fluid for about 24 hours,then sundried and grilled are a delicacy on my world. One should be careful though as there are different kind of these,all differently dangerous but only some are edible.
I pity the fool that is trying to conduct experiments on me. I am going to turn the whole world into a giant Mars(tm) for ME!!!
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